Oh, growing up is exciting and challenging and can be, well, damp!
For example, when I was 7, I found out I was going to be a big sister and peed my pants I was so excited. I was going to have a real little sister, a real life doll to play with and I loved playing dress up and she was going to love it too! I just knew it! She was the best ever, but soon I discovered that she moved around too much and cried a whole lot more than the dolls I had ever played with! And the dirty diapers had real stuff in them…..uugh!! But when she giggled for me – I was over the moon in love with her!
At 12, I dreamed of dating one of my brother’s friend, so I could hardly wait to get older. I would dance around and pretend that I was a rock star, singing “These Eyes” in the mirror to “him”, and if he looked deep enough, long enough…..sigh! Sometimes I didn’t notice the time and had to go real bad, and with 6 kids and 2 adults in a 1 1/2 bathroom house, I didn’t always make it in time! Oh the drama of a preteen crush!
In my teens, the adventure of testing boundaries and spreading my wings, caused much angst for my parents and there were a few times I almost peed my pants in fear, hoping I would be able to sneak in the house before they woke up, but it never happened. I could always see my mother looking out the small window of our front door! Busted more times than I care to admit.
In my 20′s, I was so full of hope and righteousness and seeing the world in black and white, right or wrong, laughter and drama. The only plan I had was to work, explore life on my terms, have fun, you know – dreaming of the good life. Oh, I had the world by the b@!$s and I believed it with all my heart!
My 30′s were about trying to be a better person, land the great job, volunteering, taking numerous personal seminars to help get the doom and gloom monkey off my back. It is the time where I still dreamed about meeting “Mr. Right” to live the happily ever after with, get pregnant and be da bomb parents. Sadly, it didn’t happen – or is it sad? Through the years, I hear where Mr./Mrs. Right sometimes end up Mr./Mrs. Wrong all the time, those precious babies turned into temperamental teenagers, and many of the middle aged couples have robbed the younger generation of babysitting income! Oh the injustice of it all!
My 40′s – apparently the new 30′s – were lost the years, full of change and disillusionment, anger and fear, hopelessness, and helplessness, with only a miniscule will to drag myself out of the crawl space of my mind toward a tiny pinhead light of hope. And that was just getting to the other side of menopause!
Now in my 50′s, my world is being coloured in tones of calm and moments of serenity, with a bit of drama thrown in for effect! The surety of my opinions and righteousness have been hammered down to a dull purr. I am grateful that the lost years are behind me, accept that my unfulfilled desires will be replaced with new, age appropriate goals and I am surging forward with the belief that something new and wonderful is around the corner.
Yet one crappy day not long ago, where the thought of getting old was becoming a big Debbie downer, I said to my wonderful 78 year old friend MJ, “This getting old sucks! So much for my belief that I would grow old gracefully!” She smiled at me kindly and said “Dear, growing old is not for the faint of heart!” “That’s just wrong.” I said in disgust!
She laughed and I giggled at my absurdity, and it was then I realized that peeing my pants no longer required excitement or fear, just a slight cough or a good giggle could spring a leak! From Diapers to Depends, yes, I am certainly at a new Age of Aging……
(Quote Credit – Marshall McLuhan)